Sometimes when it's hard for me to fall asleep, I change my sleeping position. For some reason, getting too used to a sleeping orientation makes it hard for me to sleep. I used to flip myself upside down on my bed, so my feet are under the table and my head is at the foot of the bed. My recent favorite sleeping style is putting a bunch of pillows on top of me and use my blanket as a pillow, which led to two of my newest invention ideas: the pillow blanket and the blanket pillow.

Birds. They're interesting creatures. First of all, they regurgitate in each others mouths. So when a bird gets wasted, they don't look for a trash can. Instead, they look for their friend's mouth. Second, they must have classes at 3 in the morning, because I always hear them up and about at 2 am. Roosters are the birds that always get drunk and hungover; the earliest they ever get up is sunrise, and then they yell their asses off because the morning light hurts their hangover-headache.

How do rats pledge fraternities?  Do frat rat brothers make rat pledges lightning disgusting shit? Becuase rats love disgusting shit.  Instead, do rat brothers make rat pledges lightning healthy food? "Yo rat pledges, eat this salad as fast as you can!"